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Double Standards When It Comes To Money With Friends and Family

An interesting incident occurred recently where someone mentioned to me how he had a friend who needed money. What happened was that the person basically tried to get him to loan some money as he was told how he respected him so much and that he will change his attitude to ensure that he won’t be irresponsible anymore. As a result, he loaned the person a lot of money. What happened was that one day the person who received the money was being disrespectful to him as since he is not currently in a bad situation anymore he didn’t feel the need to listen to others. It even went as far as the person then claiming that he didn’t have to pay back the money as it was a gift rather than a loan and that even if he tried he couldn’t prove that it was a loan.

The retaliating response from the lender, keep in mind they were friends, was how he was disgusted over that and whether or not he would do that to family members as well. Now here was the interesting response as apparently he said family is different as it is wrong to take money from your family members but friends are different. While I would normally be shocked at that type of response, I’ve had nearly identical experiences like those happen to me before which is why it doesn’t surprise me too much.

Like they say, money can make people do crazy things and it can definitely change people. I guess in a sense I can kind of see how someone would be more inclined to say take/borrow money from a friend, but honestly I can’t see how one can have two standards to justify taking money from others in this type of scenario. Of course, I have seen this go the other way too where someone says it is okay to take from a family member but not a friend. I personally prefer to be consistent and I guess for myself if I ever say borrowed money from someone, in my view I am essentially taking their time that they used to earn that money. In that sense, I can’t really say one hour of this person’s time is worth more than one hour of the other person’s time as it is not something that I can buy back.




one Comments to Double Standards When It Comes To Money With Friends and Family

  • Money will make people do crazy things. Also, there’s no threshold on when people will do things.

    I make it a personal policy never to loan money to anybody, whether it’s friends or family. If it’s a small, reasonable amount, I will probably give it to them as a gift.

    The one time in my life that I lent a substantial amount of money, it was to my father-in-law, and I made him sign a promissory note. If you can prove somebody owes you money, then you will have some legal recourse. Haul them to small-claims court and put a lien on their house if they don’t pay up.

    joewatch 4/29/2007 6:13 am

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