I was out getting a haircut today and the person who I regularly visit was telling me how she caves in most of the time when her kids ask for something. A specific example was how the older son got a computer after much nagging. Afterwards, the younger son whined that he wanted one too and as a result she caved in for him too.
That resulted in her talking about how she is afraid that she is spoiling her kids. At the same time, she mentioned that is how she grew up too pretty much and so it only seems natural to continue with that way of thinking. Example, she was given a lot of things from her parents such as a car. Off topic note, she told me that where she lived before a car was worth more than a house.
For most people I talk to they donâ€™t consider things like a car as spoiling a kid as they kind of think that is a normal thing to give to your grown up child. In my personal opinion too, the fear of spoiling someone is that people fear the person wonâ€™t be able to manage money in the future as they will always be dependent on someone else. Therefore, you try to be cautious about what is too much to give.
Speaking for myself, I definitely grew in a more â€œearn every penny to buy what you wantâ€ type of scenario. However, from what I have seen itâ€™s not so much about how much you get that determines if you will be irresponsible with money. Instead, it comes down to if you have truly experienced a situation where you had almost nothing and no one could help you really but yourself.
I know a key way I learned to be financially responsible at young age was seeing everyone who became broke all the time even when adults gave them say hundreds of dollars as gifts and presents. Therefore, me receiving these same gifts gave me different perspective. So I think spoiling is more about giving in when the person claims that they desperately need where they donâ€™t have to really do anything to earn it. Not things like buying expensive toys necessarily Iâ€™d say.